Saturday, March 19, 2005
i think i am dead physically and mentally plus, spiritually.
i have got NO LIFE for goodness sake.
and i didnt know you still traumatise me now. i have been telling myself that the old me hasnt been gone. i am always a different person at night. different as in really different. its like so not me.
if i were to like go back into time to view and judge my own life story, i would say its ugly. totally ugly. to see myself behaving that way its just disgusting. PLAIN DISGUSTING. yes, ive hurt lots of ppl. and yes, lots of ppl had hurt me too. i dont know how i am to other people's eyes but i do know if i were someone else, i would say that christine is simply a childish plus ugly girl. :)
actually, i dont even have the guts to picture myself. it scares me. i just feel so inhuman. as in soul-less. lack of life. a dummy to be experimented by the evil human race. sometimes i just wonder whether Christine does really exist. or am i just living in some solitude world of my own. where everything is just my imagination and i am the split identity of everyone else. my oh my, why is my mind so complicated. why do i choose to think so much.
again i am going crazy..oouhh. just shut up brain. shut up. i hate u christine. i do. you suck hell. u belong no where. u are just a game..
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daily.wordz*
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the reason is You
